When you hear the words Valentine’s Day, what immediately comes to mind?
For many of you pitiful mortals, it’s all about hearts and kittens and cupid and roses and promises you whisper in the heat of the moment but never actually intend to deliver upon based on a chemical cocktail your brain is pumping out that has been scientifically proven to be just a carefully balanced combination of dopamine, seratonin, and oxytocin.
For others, it’s a day to dress in all black and hide from the painful, all too commercialized reminder that you’re alone in this world and probably going to die, still alone, in an apartment full of hungry cats where you won’t be found until months later when the neighbors below you complain of the slowly spreading oily stain on their ceiling.
For me, it’s (at least this year) a Wednesday. No, I have no reason to celebrate this day in any way except to use it as an excuse to share with you all another disgustingly delicious recipe…and since I’m feeling benevolent, I’m making sure it fits with the theme of this month and sharing a heart-shaped dish.
And because I’ve been listening to you guys and all your feedback (thank you for all your honesty!) the full printable version of this recipe will be at the end of this post on a separate card (yay!)
To make your own bloody Valentine roasted sirloin heart with burgundy reduction you will need:
- 2-3 slices of fresh roast beef
- 1 lb ground sirloin steak
- 1 package instant onion soup mix
- 1 1/4 teaspoon Transglutaminase powder, divided
- 1/4 teaspoon room temperature water
- Salt and pepper to taste
- A-1 steak sauce
- Red food coloring
- Blue food coloring
- Pot of water approximately 6 inches deep and 130F/54C
- Beef bullion cube
For the red wine reduction sauce:
- 3 cloves of garlic, peeled, crushed and diced
- 1 lb sliced mushrooms
- pinch of parsley
- 1 cup butter
- 1 cup red wine
You’ll also need a heart mold. Personally, I really like this one.
To make the accompanying side dishes, you will also need:
For the parsnips:
- 1 lb parsnips
- 2 garlic cloves, peeled, crushed and diced
- 1/3 Cup sour cream
- 3 tablespoons butter
- pinch of salt
For the asparagus:
- 1/2 pound fresh asparagus with bottom 1″ removed
- 1/4 cup water
- Sea salt
- Balsamic vinegar
This recipe takes some prep, so if you’re planning on serving it for a special day, make sure you start approximately 24 hours ahead of time in order to give the meat plenty of opportunity to really absorb the flavor of the onions and to allow our Transglutaminase powder to work its magic.
The first thing you need to do is line your heart mold with roast beef slices.
Place your slices into your heart mold, leaving an overhang of at least three inches. You want to make sure that when you fold them over, that you will completely cover the bottom of your mold with beef.
Next, you’ll want to prepare your Transglutaminase powder. Mix up 1/4 of your teaspoon of powder with 1/4 teaspoon of room temperature water to create a slurry. Using a food safe paint brush, use this to paint a thin layer on one side of your slices of roast beef wherever it touches another piece. The goal here is to use our Transglutaminase “glue” to bind the slices together into one cohesive sheet.
Mmm…meat sheets.
In a separate bowl, combine your ground sirloin with your package of dried onion soup mix and the remaining teaspoon of powdered meat glue. Really make sure you mix this well as you want the powder to be fully incorporated.
Side note, we’ve discussed meat glue and Transglutaminase in several other posts, including our Facehugger Roast Chicken and our Chili Con Carnage, so I won’t go into depth exactly what it is here…just know it’s basically some super magical science-y powder enzyme based razzle–dazzle that makes meat stick to itself. While it does make making this recipe easier, you can also opt to leave it out altogether and simply replace the contents of this roast heart with our Zombie Arm Meatloaf meat mixture and jump ahead to the end of the recipe where we actually roast this bad boy.
Now that that is all out of the way, and if you’re still with me and using the Transglutaminase powder meat mixture, let’s continue on.
Once your Transglutaminase powder and onion soup are fully incorporated into your ground sirloin, stuff that mixture inside your roast beef lined heart, making sure to really pack it in there. You want this stuff mashed in there tight.
Brush the mixture with a layer of your meat glue slurry and fold over your roast beef meat flaps making sure to again apply any meat slurry to all meat flaps that will be resting on top of or touching meat bits (seriously…meat flaps, meat sheets, meat slurry…this recipe is by far my favorite so far simply for the creative use of the word meat in non-traditional ways).
Wrap this whole thing, mold and all, with plastic wrap, stretching it as tightly as possible and creating a full seal all around.
Turn this upside down, flat side down, and place in your fridge for 24 hours. To really ensure that the meat is as compressed as possible, I like to stack weight on top of it to press it flat. Here you can see my meat masterpiece is weighted down by a container of pumpkin bars and an ice bag.
24 hours later…
Remove your meat package from the fridge, remove the plastic wrap, and tap your mold lightly. Your meat heart should slide out with no problem.
Preheat your oven to 350F/175C.
While your oven is preheating, bring a pot of water at least 6 inches deep up to a temperature of 130F/54C. Drop in 1 beef bullion cube and mix well.
Place your heart in this water and allow to sit undisturbed for 10 minutes.
This in conjunction with the packing and pressing we did earlier causes the meat glue to really bind tightly, creating a solid slab of meat with a steak like texture rather than a more ‘grainy’ meatloaf texture.
Now, speaking of meatloaf, if you’re opting for that recipe instead of the meat glue recipe, this is where you want to rejoin the rest of the group for the remainder of the post.
Pat your exterior roast beef dry with a paper towel and then, using another food-safe paint brush, trace over your raised blood vessels on the surface of your heart with blue food coloring. Allow to dry for about 5 minutes.
In a small bowl, combine your red food coloring with your A-1 steak sauce until you’ve achieved a deep blood red. Brush this over your entire meat heart, veins and all.
Roast your meat heart on a roasting rack over a foil-lined pan for at least 1 hour, or until the internal temperature reaches 135F/57C for rare, 140F/60C for medium rare.
Now let’s move onto our red wine reduction.
In a saute pan, combine your garlic, green onions, mushrooms and butter and sautee until the mushrooms are golden and the white parts of the onions are translucent and soft.
Add your red wine and reduce the temperature to just above a simmer. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until the liquid is reduced by half (about 20 minutes or so.
While all this roasting and reducing magic is happening, let’s make some whipped parsnips and steamed asparagus.
20 minutes after you put your roast in, place your peeled and chopped parsnips, your garlic cloves and your pinch of salt into a pot of water and bring to a boil. Cook until soft or around 20 minutes.
Drain your parsnips, saving 1/2 cup of your liquid.
Return your parsnips to the pot, add your reserved liquid back in along with your sour cream, butter, and salt. Mash using either a hand mixer or an old-fashioned potato masher.
You will want to start your asparagus roughly 10 minutes before you’re ready to serve your roast. Spread your trimmed and washed asparagus spears out over 4 paper towels and drizzle with your water. Sprinkle with salt and then roll up the entire thing, paper towels and all, into a bundle.
Transfer this bundle to a plate, seam side down, and microwave about 3-4 minutes.
Remove carefully (they’ll be hot) and unroll. Transfer to your serving dish and drizzle with balsamic glaze and an additional pinch of salt.
By now your roast should be ready. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for at least 5 minutes before slicing and serving.
To get the most bang for your buck, plate your heart whole in a nest of your whipped parsnips, drizzle with your reduction sauce, and present to your intended with a large knife sticking out of the middle.
You’ll either dazzle them into eternal submission or learn quickly whether or not this relationship is meant to be long term.
Either way, you’ll have a hell of a meal, and if you’re lucky, nobody to share it with.
Mmmmmm!
Of course, this leads me to my next question…
How do you follow up a meal this epic? What dessert could you possibly serve that would compliment this amazingness?
For that part of this culinary adventure, I am turning to my very good friend, Lori Castellon from Castellon’s Kitchen and her absolutely decadent My Bloody Valentine Red Velvet Heart Cake (yeah, there’s a theme here…)
Not only is this cake to die for, you get to reuse the same mold we used for our heart roast (just wash it first, please) so it’s a multi-tasking win!
This cake is an edible work of art. Made from a blend of red velvet and dark chocolate buttercream and then drenched in a rich homemade berry blood sauce, it’s the absolutely perfect way to end our meal.
No, I’m not going to steal her thunder and post her recipe here on this site…you’ll have to go visit her page and see it for yourself…and while you’re there, poke around at her other dishes like her Squirmy Wormy Shots and my personal favorite, Grubs Au Gratin.
And, finally, to circle back to our earlier discussion about Valentines, did you know that Saint Valentine is not only the patron saint of lovers, he’s also the patron saint of bee beepers, epilepsy and the plague?
Oh, and that chemical cocktail that we call ‘love’ can easily be manufactured in a lab by using the formula 8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 (all available on Amazon.com, I’m sure). But don’t try to mix it up yourself…an overdose of any of the ingredients can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity…which when I think back to the last guy I dated either meant he was crazy, or crazy in love. Poor bastard.
Bone appetite!
[amd-zlrecipe-recipe:6]
