Some links on this page are affiliate links. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. To read my full disclosure, go here.
Well, well, well…have you missed me? It’s been a bit of time since my last post. In fact, if my math is to be trusted, almost five years. How is that possible? I literally popped down to Hell to check on a few small things and suddenly it’s five years later? Ahh, no, I get it. Time moves differently these days…just how these past 11 months have felt like two decades, if you catch my drift.
So what’s been going on during those five years? Hmm, lots of stuff and yet, not lots of stuff all at the same time.
I started two animal rescues. I figured saving fancy tree rats was a good thing to do.
Same with elongated stretch cats.
With the fancy tree rats, I get them as orphans, raise them up and then let them go. For the elongated stretch cats, I’m their last stop for people who can’t keep taking care of them. I’m the master of the noodle cat bucket lists. We do lots of fun stuff to make their last months/years happy.
Oh, and I wrote a novel. It’s a fun romp. A little horror. A little comedy. Some exploding cows. You know, the usual stuff that happens in small-town Idaho.
We will talk more about that in a later post, but for now, let’s talk about this Grinch burger everyone has been desperately trying to find.
This summer, Sonic had its pickle fest, which included pickle tots, a pickle slush with pickle boba, and a few other pickle items. I tried them. They were really good.
Then McDonald’s came out with their Grinch meal, which was basically either a Big Mac or nuggets, a pair of socks, and some pickle salt you could put on your fries.
I tried it. Not bad. But it quickly sold out.
A few days ago, a friend, knowing my pickle love, sent me a picture of what was supposed to be the Grinch Meal at Chick-Fil-A, and I’ll be honest, it looked temptingly good. Big fluffy green bun holding what I assumed was a pickle-brined and then fried chicken breast, waffle fries with pickle seasoning, a green dipping sauce, and a green shake with sprinkles.
Alas, it was not real, which is too bad because I would have totally purchased it…
So, what’s a pickle-loving demon to do when there are no pickle snacks?
Easy. Make our own.
For my version of the Grinch meal, I chose to go with a burger over the chicken. Why? Because I like beef. Nothing against chicken. Plus it’s what I had on hand, so that’s what we did.
My Grinch Meal consists of a homemade dill pickle salted smash 80/20 smashburger layered with dill pickle Grinch Sauce, two slices of pepper jack cheese (for that super Grinch bite), fresh lettuce, a generous heap of sweet and sour pickled red onion slaw, and sandwiched inside a thick homemade green Grinch bun.
Let’s start with the super-easy sweet and sour red onion slaw. This will not only bring color to our burger, but a zesty, tangy crunch that adds depth to every bite.
Red Onion Slaw –
You will need:
- ½ large red onion, sliced into paper-thin slices
- ½ cup apple cider vinegar
- 1 Tbsp white sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 cup very hot water
In a mason jar, combine your vinegar, sugar, salt, and very hot water. Stir until everything is completely dissolved.
Add in your sliced red onion, making sure it is completely covered by the liquid.
Cover your jar and place it into the fridge for at least 15 minutes. For the best flavor, let them soak overnight. (I like to make these the night before.)
As they pickle, your onion slices and the water they are pickling in will turn a bright shocking pink. Fun!
Now let’s get our buns made.
Green Grinch Buns –
For this you will need:
- 3 Tbsp warm water (105-110F max)
- 2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
- 1 cup warm water
- 1 egg, beaten
- 3 Tbsp sugar
- 3 1/3 cups flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 3 Tbsp butter, soft but not melted
- Green food coloring (I like gel)
In a small bowl, combine your yeast and 3 Tbsp warm water and allow to sit and proof. As it does, it will foam up.
While the yeast is waking up, in another bowl, combine your flour, salt and sugar.
Gently work in the butter one tablespoon at a time by rubbing it in with your fingers. This will result in a crumbly flour mixture.
Add your green food coloring gel to your cup of warm water and mix well.
Slowly add to your butter flour mixture your yeast water, the 1 cup of green warm water and your 1 beaten egg. Knead together until smooth and elastic. The dough will be slightly sticky and depending on how much green food coloring you added, should be a nice Grinchy hue. If it’s too light, just add a bit more into the dough and knead it in.
Place your dough into a greased bowl, cover lightly with a tea towel or plastic wrap, and allow to rise for one hour or until double in size.
Once doubled, divide the dough into equal pieces (I made four, but you can do more if you want your buns smaller) and form into a ball that is slightly rounded on top but flat on the bottom.
Place these on a sheet, either lined with parchment paper or lightly greased. Cover again with either your tea towel or plastic wrap and allow to rest for an additional 30 minutes.
While it’s resting, pre-heat your oven to 400°F.
Bake at 400°F for approximately 15 minutes or just before the top starts to turn golden. Check often so you don’t overcook. You want a green Grinch bun, not a tanned Grinch bun. Andif your buns brown faster than expected, don’t panic…check early and pull while they’re still Grinch-green.
Remove your buns from the oven and allow to cool.
While they’re cooling, let’s prep our tots!
GRINCH TOTS –
The secret to these tots is in the seasoning which goes on after the tots are cooked, so we’ll start by first getting those into the oven.
Place your tots onto a cookie sheet and arrange in a single layer.
Pop into your oven at 425°F for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, pull them out, and flip (or shake) and place back into the oven for another 15 minutes.
While they are baking, let’s make our pickle salt.
DILL PICKLE SALT—
You will need:
- ½ Cup Kosher salt
- 2 teaspoons pickle brine from your favorite pickle jar
- 1 teaspoon dried dill weed
- Pinch of celery salt
Combine all your ingredients in a food processor and pulse until well combined.
The brine will make the pickle salt a little damp, which is fine for what we are doing tonight, but in order to keep it long term, allow to fully dry out before you put it into a jar for storage.
When your tots come out of the oven after their second 15 minute bake, put them into a bowl and liberally dust with your pickle salt and shake well to mix. Because the salt is slightly damp from the brine, it will stick well to the tots. If you are using a dry salt because you made it ahead of time or you’re optioning to use a store bought version like this from Hold The Pickle O.G. Dill Pickle Seasoning (have personally used and it’s excellent! I love it on popcorn!) then lightly spray your tots first with a coat of baking spray to make sure the salt sticks well to them.
Pop your tots back into the oven, turn it off, and crack the door. This will keep the tots warm while we prep our Grinch Sauce and cook our patty but won’t let them keep cooking and burn.
GRINCH SAUCE –
The star of this show is the sweet and sour from our pickles, and this sauce is an easy way to add a slug of flavor to both your burger and your tots as a dipping sauce.
To make it you’ll need:
- ¼ cup sour cream
- 2 Tbsp mayonnaise
- 2 Tbsp finely chopped dill pickles
- ½ tsp honey (because even the Grinch had a little sweetness in him)
- 1 tsp dill pickle brine from the jar
- ¼ tsp dried dill weed
- Pinch garlic
- Pinch onion powder
- Pinch celery salt
- Pepper to taste
Combine your sour cream, mayonnaise, pickle juice, dill weed, garlic, and onion powder and mix well until smooth.
Add your diced pickles and mix well to combine.
Set aside for now. Let’s work on our smash burger.
GRINCH DILL SMASH BURGER –
This is probably the easiest part of the whole meal, but it’s also the part that goes the fastest once you start, so make sure you’re ready to eat almost as soon as it’s done because there’s nothing better than a super hot, crusty, perfectly caramelized smash patty!
I like to take a few minutes before I cook my burger to slice my buns open, toast and butter them, and have them on standby.
You’ll need:
- 1 lb ground beef (I like 80/20)
- Pickle salt (recipe above)
- 2 slices of pepper jack cheese per burger (optional but I like the kick)
- Pepper to taste
On your stove top, get your frying pan hot over medium high heat.
Divide your beef into four and roll into four evenly sized balls but do not flatten into patties.
Test your pan to make sure it’s at the right temperature by dropping a tiny drop of water into the center of the pan. If it’s ready, the water will bounce around before quickly evaporating.
Once your pan is hot, place your beef balls down on the pan and press flat. You can be fancy and buy an official burger smasher/hamburger press like this, but honestly, I’ve used a mug and it’s just as good.
To keep either your mug or your burger press from sticking to the beef as you press it, you can put down a piece of parchment paper between them or lightly spray with cooking oil.
You want to make sure your patty is nice and thin, so press fairly hard but don’t press so hard that you press the beef away from itself and leave holes in the center.
Once your patty is flat, remove your presser and season with dill pickle salt and pepper.
Allow to cook for about 2 to 3 minutes on the first side and then flip and cook about one minute on side two. Be warned! Cooking will go fast, so keep an eye on it. The thinner you press your beef, the faster it will cook so watch it closely. You want those edges to caramelize and create those rich beefy crumbles of crunchy crust, but you don’t want burns, so make sure you don’t walk away while they’re cooking.
As soon as you flip your burger add your pepper jack cheese and let that get all gooey and melty.
When it comes time for assembly, I like my burgers like this:
- Bottom bun
- Grinch Sauce
- Patty
- Cheese
- Pickled Onions
- Lettuce
- Grinch Sauce
- Top bun
Plate up alongside your still warm tots, throw some extra Grinch sauce in a small cup for dipping and enjoy!
So, there you have it, your very own Grinch Dill Meal.
Dig in and stay tuned for even more fun and crazy recipes including an upcoming series based entirely on that book I told you all I wrote. Yeah, that’s coming too!
Bone Appetite!
Oh, and in keeping with the holiday theme and the color green, why not swing by and check out my post on Gremlin Hot Chocolate Truffles!
