Coronavirus Meatballs and Deep Fried Bat Wing Soup

Because we here at the Nom are nothing if slightly inappropriate, we are offering up another tasteless and yet tasty recipe inspired by current events. 

Bats have been blamed for a lot of things, including this most recent health crisis.  The rumor is this whole situation started when someone somewhere (no names, no places…we’re here to cook, not judge) boiled up a bowl of bat soup and the rest is, as they say, history.

Now, we’re all for supporting dwindling bat populations, so instead of encouraging you to grab a real bat, we’re going to show you how to fake it till’ you make it with our rice paper and spaghetti noodle version.

As for the meatballs, I can’t take credit for their brilliant creation.  I stumbled across them originally in a post on Reddit and was so enamored with them, I knew I had to make my own version and pair them with my deep-fried bat wings.

All in all this recipe is savory with a hint of sweetness and is a hot and delicious way to cure what ails you…no matter the origin.

To make this recipe you will need:

MEATBALL INGREDIENTS:

•  1 pound ground beef or pork
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons fish sauce (can substitute oyster sauce thinned with soy sauce)
• 1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger
• 1 Tablespoon tapioca starch (can substitute corn starch)
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• Enoki mushrooms, well washed

BROTH INGREDIENTS:

• 4 cups chicken broth
• 2 teaspoons sesame oil
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 teaspoon ginger, freshly grated or finely chopped
• 3 star anise pods
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 teaspoon fennel seeds
• 4 cloves
• 1 teaspoon coriander seeds
• Enough water to cover everything and fill a large pot
• Salt and pepper, to taste
• Baby bok choy, separated
• 1/3 cups green onion, thinly sliced (optional)

FRIED BAT WINGS

• 5 Spring roll wrappers
• 8 oz Chive and Onion Cream Cheese Spread
• 20 Pieces uncooked black squid ink spaghetti
• Black food color
• Cooking oil

The first thing we need to do is make our meatballs.

In a large bowl, combine all your meatball ingredients except for your enoki mushrooms and mix well until everything is incorporated. Use your hands to work the meat mixture together until it becomes slightly sticky (this can take 10-15 minutes). If you have time, place the bowl in the fridge overnight to really let the meat firm up and allow the flavors to meld.

Thoroughly wash and then carefully slice the top inch of your enoki mushrooms off the bunch and separate.

Roll heaping tablespoons of the mixture into balls with your hands. You want them to be on the larger side of bite-sized so you can pick them up and eat them in one bite or use a spoon to cut them in half easily.

Press your enoki mushrooms into your meatballs, stem side inward.

Secure in place using a pinch or two more of the ground pork mixture. 

To help ensure they stay in place, return the enoki spiked pork coronaballs to the fridge and allow to chill for 10 minutes.

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Bring a pot of water to a boil and fill another bowl with ice water. Carefully lower your coronaballs into the boiling water and allow them to cook until they float to the surface, then continue to simmer for another 3-4 minutes. (7-8 minutes total.)

Remove from pot and transfer to your bowl of ice water for 3-4 minutes.

Remove and carefully place on a plate with a damp paper towel over them to keep them from drying out and prepare your broth. 

To make your broth, start by first heating 2 teaspoons of sesame oil in a large pan over medium heat.

Add the garlic and ginger and cook, often stirring until fragrant, about 1 minute.

Stir in chicken broth and add in your spices. Allow to simmer on low.

While your broth is simmering, it’s time to make your bat wings.

You will need a shallow pan big enough to hold one spring roll wrapper at a time.  Start by first filling the pan with slightly warm water and adding in enough black dye to turn the water as inky and dark as my sense of humor.

Drop your uncooked spaghetti into the black water and allow to soften for about 10 minutes. Once softened, remove from the water and set aside.

Heat up a frying pan with your cooking oil.

Place 1 of your spring roll wrappers in the water and allow it to soak and soften.

While your wrapper is softening, take your cream cheese and add in enough black dye to darken it to a deep grey.

Using a sandwich bag as a piping bag, fill it with your cream cheese mixture and snip off a small corner.

Your wrapper should be soft by now and black as sin.  Carefully remove it from the water and place it on a cutting surface.  Using a paper towel, gently blot the excess water from the wrapper.

The wrappers I used were rectangular in shape but you can also use round ones.  I’ve found with the rectangular ones, I could get two good wings from each piece.

Fold the wrapper over in half corner to corner and trim the edge to make a triangle.  Cut the triangle down the center to create two smaller, identical triangles.

Using a sharp knife, gently scallop the edges of your wrapper to create the bat wing shape.

Unfold your triangle and use your piping bag to pipe three lines of cream cheese filling onto one side of your wing, following approximately where the bones would naturally fall.

By now your noodles should be soft but not mushy.  Using your black spaghetti noodles, lay them into the center of your piped cream cheese, using them to simulate where the bones would be in a natural bat wing.

Fold the top half of your wing back down and press down gently, allowing the cream cheese to seal the spaghetti and wings together.

Now comes the tricky part.  Carefully lift your wing up using two hands (they’re fragile) and drop them into the hot oil to cook.

Allow the wings to cook for about a minute on each side.  Because they’re black, it is hard to tell when they’re overcooking as you won’t be able to see them darken.  The pot of oil bursting into flames or the smoke detector going off is a good indicator you’ve left them on too long.  Be careful and don’t let this happen.

Remove and drain on a paper towel or rack and allow to cool.

Time to put it all together! First, strain out all the added spices you dropped into your broth.  All you want is the liquid.

Carefully drop your meatballs back into your broth and add your baby bok choy leaves.  Simmer for 5 minutes to bring the meatballs up to temperature and to soften the bok choy.

Serve by scooping up a few of your meatballs into your bowl.

Ladle in your hot broth and baby bok choy and top with your sliced scallion tops.  Tuck in a wing or two on either side of the bowl and serve to your guests and enjoy!  The wings will have a nice, crunchy texture with a slight soft ooze when you bite into the sections with cream cheese.  

And for anyone who thinks this recipe is insensitive…let’s be honest…

…I am far from the most powerful or influential individual on this planet currently not taking this situation seriously.

Here’s some straight talk for a second. This recipe is definitely not serious but this virus IS. Stay safe my dark little minions…this recipe serves two…or one person twice if you’re doing social distancing.

For more insensitive recipes, why not make some edible Tide Pods for dessert?