The holidays are creeping ever closer and with that comes the inevitable frustration of trying to find the perfect present for your favorite minion or lost soul on your naughty list.
Luckily for you, I’ve taken the time to curate a list of fellow practitioners of the dark arts and crafts.
Each artist on this page has been hand selected by yours truly. With Cyber Monday being the year’s biggest online shopping day, let’s show these guys some digital love.
Let’s start with how I have my coffee every morning…
Dark.
This coffee maker is the brainchild of the mad genius over at Lamonster Creations. I personally own this bad boy and let me tell you, it’s a thing of beauty.
Each piece he makes is made-to-order, so if you want one, reach out to him directly via his Facebook page.
Of course, it’s not like you’re gonna drink that coffee straight from the pot (or maybe you are, who am I to judge?)…and the best way to travel with that liquid black elixir of caffeinated awesome is in one of these amazing Yeti mugs from my friends over at Selectetch.com.
Yes, this massive aluminum bastard has my logo on it (as it SHOULD!), but if you ask them nicely, they do amazing customization as well.
Next on the list is my good friend Retech_org. Part sculptor, part mad scientist, all amazing. He specializes in incredible found object sculptures and truly haunting photography.
You can find his entire portfolio online here including links to his currently available pieces.
Speaking of portfolios, no list would be complete without the quiet beauty that is Kimber Starnes art.
I have loved her artwork ever since I stumbled across it on Instagram. I mean, come on. Look at this:
Contact her directly through her website to discuss prints and custom pieces.
If you’re still looking for unique prints and pieces, might I suggest reaching out to Winslow Dumaine and his stark black and white ink artwork. He’s currently finishing up an epic deck of Tarot cards:
You can see all of his currently available pieces on his website including links to order t-shirts from his prints and his CDs.
To be honest, I don’t need a deck of tarot cards to tell me how much I love this Ouiji board print from my friend Miranda over at Spookylittlehalloween.
She’s selling a wide range of items made from her beautiful photography including prints, blankets, and totes. Check out all her items here.
Now, what about the bibliophiles on your list? While I may be a demon, that doesn’t mean I don’t cross paths with a few individuals who are a touch more, ahem, pious. Doesn’t mean they’re not still damn cool humans.
Case in point, my good friend JR Forasteros who is not only wicked with a bbq smoker but a frighteningly talented writer as well.
His take on some of my personal favorite characters in history is refreshing and eye-opening. Plus he has a wicked cool beard. Pick up a copy of his book on Amazon.com.
And I can’t talk about authors I know without including one of the most twisted individuals I’ve ever come across. Want to spend an evening cuddled up by a fireplace scaring the hell out of yourself? Pick up a copy of one of Ron Chapman’s Twisted series books.
Look, he even wrote one just for Christmas.
Know someone who spends a lot of time chanting and throwing mysterious ingredients into a pot over the fire? Grab a copy of the Necronomnom and tell them to conjure up something delicious!
Now, before you get too excited, no, this is not my cookbook (still working on that!), but I’m excited to be a part of it and am contributing two recipes to the final project!
Looking for an escape from the family and need a good book to read while you hide? I suggest sinking your fangs into The Necro NomNomNomicon by Felix Galivan and the equally fun sequel A Recipe for Disaster. And yes, while we might share the same name (my blog and his books) it just goes to show you that great minds think alike!
Do you have an ugly relative you love being around but just can’t stand looking at? Maybe you need a secret disguise? No matter what the occasion, Lconcreations has the answer.
With beautiful handmade masks, there’s something for everyone. They’re also perfect for that New Year’s Eve masquerade ball I know you’re throwing that you haven’t invited me to yet. (Invitation’s in the mail, right?) Email her directly through her IG to request prices and see the availability of other items including jewelry!
And if you’re still in the market for some hand-made amazingness, Deadlycreative.com has you covered! From photography to sculpture to mixed media pieces ranging from the whimsical to the wonderfully creepy, there’s something for everyone here.
And if you want something a little smaller, I’m personally obsessed with her miniature coffins available in her Etsy store.
Speaking of things I’m personally obsessed with, let’s talk about skulls. Specifically, the glittery ones from SugarxAndxSkulls on Etsy.
She also has a full line of incredible tea light holders and all sorts of spooky fun skull shaped candles to light up your holiday season.
But what about your favorite feline familiar? We can’t leave them off the list! Why not grab this fuzzy Catthulu from Team Manticore?
They also have a selection of fuzzy huggable tentacles for your favorite elder gods.
Everything is brain food when you serve it in these ridiculously awesome brain bowls from KatBones.
She also has a selection of other items in her Etsy shop including magnets, ridiculously hilarious Frankenstein flower pots, and other creepy and exciting odds and ends.
Looking to take a step back from all the insanity and spend some time pampering yourself? Click on over to The Weekend Gypsy Emporium for a wide range of herbal and occult treats including body powder, candles and incense, lotions, and even some treats for your tummy.
What would the holidays be without a literal avalanche of cards flooding our mailboxes? Stand out from the usual crowd by sending one of these cards.
The photo, taken by my friend Alyse Grimm, features the statue of Samantha from Bewitched that is currently on display in Salem and can be picked up from her website. While you’re there, why not grab a copy of her guide “Things to do in Salem” at the same time?
Finally, I want to totally switch gears and introduce you all to our friend Cody Barnes over at Art for Animal Rescue Funds (AARF). While what he’s doing might not exactly seem like it fits in with our list, let me assure you, this is possibly the greatest gift of all.
You see, Cody is not only an amazing artist, he’s also a fan of Lucifur, our Lord of Barkness. As some of you may (or may not) know, packing that much demon into such a small package has had some unfortunate consequences, and as a result, Lucifur has just recently been diagnosed with Lymphoma.
We’re doing all we can to keep her safe and comfortable and providing her with the best care possible. Because we believe she deserves a fighting chance, we’re currently treating her with chemo, a process which is expensive and hard on her tiny body.
Cody has generously offered to donate 20% of his proceeds from his custom pet portraits to help cover Luci’s medical bills…and for that, I’m eternally grateful.
If you’re interested in donating directly to her, I’m going to offer a shameless plug here for her Gofundme.
And of course, because I’m shameless, you can always pick up official Eat the Dead merchandise here.
So there you have it, a carefully curated list of kick-ass, deliciously dark gifts guaranteed to satisfy any demon on your list.
Happy holidays, happy shopping, and as always…
BONE APPETITE!
